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"Concerning Fathers and Overburdened Mothers: The Impact of Uninvolved Parenting on Your Children"

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"Concerning Fathers and Overburdened Mothers: The Impact of Uninvolved Parenting on Your Children"

Shifting social dynamics;

Under the guise of modernism and technological advancements, societies worldwide are experiencing cultural and moral shifts. Traditional values are eroding, togetherness is diminishing, and corruption is gaining acceptance. Public figures openly admit to using bribes without remorse. This pursuit of wealth is taking parents away from their responsibilities towards their children, leaving little time and attention for them.

What happened to the art of parenting?

What happened to the concept of upbringing or "tarbiyat" in Urdu? In our society, mothers and sometimes grandparents, uncles, and aunts used to groom and instill values in children during their first five years. Then, teachers at school would continue this process. However, we have gradually abandoned this responsibility, leading to self-destruction. Both parents and teachers have disengaged from their roles, neglecting their duty to shape future citizens.

Economic challenges are often used as an excuse, but even working parents must make time for their children. Many of us grew up with parents who did just that, so why have today's young parents become less involved with their kids?

This is concerning, especially since 65% of our population is under thirty. The society should be worried about how our twenty-year-olds will behave in 2047, the hundredth anniversary of Pakistan's founding.

I recently met some students. During our conversation, I asked them about their relationships with their parents. Surprisingly, four out of six students said they were closer to their mothers, while only two felt closer to their fathers. This left me astonished because it's natural to be close to one's mother, but these four rarely talked to their fathers.

Frightening father;

Why did this distant relationship with fathers occur? The reasons that surfaced included fear, conflicting schedules, a lack of shared interests for conversation, and a greater willingness of mothers to listen. A child who is afraid of their own father is likely to grow up fearful of the world in general and may remain timid throughout their life. Economic challenges have negatively impacted and dismantled the family structure.

The contemporary family;

Change has indeed occurred, and while it may have some positive aspects, its long-term impact on society remains uncertain in my view. We need to work on developing a strategy where economic well-being is ingrained in emerging social standards, ensuring that the strong bonds within families stay intact and unchallenged. Walter Bagehot once said, "The worst families are those in which the members never really speak their minds to one another, maintain an atmosphere of unreality, and everyone lives in an atmosphere of ill-feeling."

It's only after becoming parents ourselves that we truly understand what our own parents meant when they expressed concern and anxiety, particularly about our late returns home. Nowadays, parents who avoid experiencing grief and disappointment from their children are considered fortunate. Parents must adapt and respond to the demands of the modern era. While receiving a mother's unconditional love is typically easier, obtaining it from the father can be a challenge, especially if the father is unaware of the profound impact his love can have on his child.

Exemplars;

Children naturally emulate their parents, so it's crucial to provide them with positive role models. Being a sarcastic critic rather than a supportive parent is unhelpful and cruel. Encourage good behavior by fostering open and strong lines of communication.

Instead of making the child understand you as a parent, invest quality time in learning and understanding the child. What happens at home is influential and can shape a child's future. Using rebukes and hurtful words can harm children.

Parents are like patterns, and children often follow their example. Every mother believes her child is the most beautiful. The parent-child relationship should be strong and enduring.

Parents should allow children the freedom to imagine and develop useful thoughts for a respectful and meaningful life. Govern your family with care, like cooking a delicate fish, as the Chinese proverb suggests. Every child is loved by their parents, showcasing equality among the human race. The deepest regret for parents is if their child's behavior steals their smiles.

 

Tayyaba Dua

Tayyaba Dua